Well I had my second class today. We started off with some simple exercises. Mostly just stretching. After 10 minutes of that we walked around the building twice, some did once. I had spent all day yesterday at Disneyland and I was sore, but did it fine. We then discussed ourselves. Why we hadn't had success in the past and why we think lapband or gastric would be successful for us. I think most of us were at the point that we have done everything else and this is our last option, our last chance. I think this may be a group that sheds tears. none yet, but I can feel them coming. I still think some of the group may be delusional in how they will be able to become healthy eaters before the surgery. I just feel I've done it all before. I know every diet in the book and I sure know how to eat healthy, I just don't. We talked about how food is an addiction like alcohol or drugs. I truly feel it is. I have 4 siblings, (2 deceased) and we are all overweight or alcoholic. I chose food to console and comfort me. I chose food to calm and soothe me. I know I need to combat that but just understanding why I do it doesn't really help. Our teacher has stressed this is not a weight loss class and we will not be talking about being "good" or "bad". Easy to say, but years of thinking like that will be hard to stop.
This next week I need to spend more time learning to say no to people without guilt and do what is best for me. By doing that I will minimize the stress in my life and lessen the chances I will eat to comfort myself or reward myself for working hard or doing for everyone else. I need to learn to put my needs first for a while. If I don't I won't be able to help anyone. My oldest says she agrees but she still makes me feel guilty if I don't come up to help her for the day. My youngest totally understands and encourages me to take care of myself. I think my oldest still feels I'm just weak and need to control myself. she would never say it out loud though. He actions speak louder than words.
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