lost 15 lbs so far, week 4

Well so far I have lost 15lbs. since I started this 3 months ago. Before I did the lapband class, I had to do a 3 month nutrition class. Boring, but I had to do since I haven't been on any "real" diet for 10 years. I felt what's the use, I always gain it back, why bother. Even though we don't have to diet, just writing down everything I put in my mouth has made me more cautious. Even if I "lie" about how much, I am aware of what I'm eating. I've cut down from 4 slices of toast for breakfast down to 2. Actually 2 seems to be enough. I think I can stick to this one. It is the nighttime eating that is the hardest. I'm not one to replace candy with carrots. People who have lifelong weight issues can't just replace a healthy food with a "bad" food and think they will stick to it. I have to learn to eat a new way that I can stick to. That is why the surgery. I need another tool besides my willpower to help me with this.

We exercised again, simple stuff, and walked around the building 2 times. It is a small building. 2 of the class members are unable to do this and exercise in their seats. Hopefully they will continue their journey and change their lives.

It is a long process, but when we have the surgery I feel I will be prepared mentally and physically to have success. They said only 10% of regular dieters keep the weight off, whereas 90% of gastric bypass people do. That is very comforting. Also Scripps who does the surgery, has never had a death with their gastric bypass. To be honest that is not a real concern for me. The real concerns are after.  Will I be able to stick to no caffine, no soda, no chocolate. They also said it really reduces your appetite. That is what I'm praying for.  I asked the counslor what is to prevent me from wanting to eat all day, even little bits. She said I will not have an appetite to do it. Not that I couldn't do it, some people do, they even liquify food so they can eat it. I don't think that will be a problem with me. I'm a comfort eater. I will also skip eating if there isn't anything I like. I am scared I will be unhappy not having my food. Right now it is my "comfort" What will be my comfort afterward???

Class 3

Well I sure had a good week. Their scale said I lost 5 lbs!!! I told the teacher that I think the scale was actually wrong last week so it showed I lost more than I did this week. She looked at me and said "last week you blamed yourself when it was bad, this week you blame the scale when it is good. Just own the fact that you did well" She's right, I'm never surprised when something bad happens and always shocked when something good happens. We did some simple exercises again and walked around the building twice. It was very hot and felt like walking in an oven. Half did it twice, some only once, some not even once. Baby steps.

Our discussion this week was a little more intense. We are getting to know each other a bit better and sharing some more. This week's lesson is to ask people we know to name three reasons why they like, or admire us. I really feel weird asking that question.

Once again she said they don't like to do lapband on diabetics since gastric bypass cures diabetes, not just controls it. They are starting to do it lapcroscopically. I'm still trying to be open. Not much else to report. As the classses go on  we will discuss the various surgeries they do. That I'm looking forward too. I don't really care about opening up to everyone. I think I know why I eat.I want to know how to stop!