lost 15 lbs so far, week 4

Well so far I have lost 15lbs. since I started this 3 months ago. Before I did the lapband class, I had to do a 3 month nutrition class. Boring, but I had to do since I haven't been on any "real" diet for 10 years. I felt what's the use, I always gain it back, why bother. Even though we don't have to diet, just writing down everything I put in my mouth has made me more cautious. Even if I "lie" about how much, I am aware of what I'm eating. I've cut down from 4 slices of toast for breakfast down to 2. Actually 2 seems to be enough. I think I can stick to this one. It is the nighttime eating that is the hardest. I'm not one to replace candy with carrots. People who have lifelong weight issues can't just replace a healthy food with a "bad" food and think they will stick to it. I have to learn to eat a new way that I can stick to. That is why the surgery. I need another tool besides my willpower to help me with this.

We exercised again, simple stuff, and walked around the building 2 times. It is a small building. 2 of the class members are unable to do this and exercise in their seats. Hopefully they will continue their journey and change their lives.

It is a long process, but when we have the surgery I feel I will be prepared mentally and physically to have success. They said only 10% of regular dieters keep the weight off, whereas 90% of gastric bypass people do. That is very comforting. Also Scripps who does the surgery, has never had a death with their gastric bypass. To be honest that is not a real concern for me. The real concerns are after.  Will I be able to stick to no caffine, no soda, no chocolate. They also said it really reduces your appetite. That is what I'm praying for.  I asked the counslor what is to prevent me from wanting to eat all day, even little bits. She said I will not have an appetite to do it. Not that I couldn't do it, some people do, they even liquify food so they can eat it. I don't think that will be a problem with me. I'm a comfort eater. I will also skip eating if there isn't anything I like. I am scared I will be unhappy not having my food. Right now it is my "comfort" What will be my comfort afterward???

Class 3

Well I sure had a good week. Their scale said I lost 5 lbs!!! I told the teacher that I think the scale was actually wrong last week so it showed I lost more than I did this week. She looked at me and said "last week you blamed yourself when it was bad, this week you blame the scale when it is good. Just own the fact that you did well" She's right, I'm never surprised when something bad happens and always shocked when something good happens. We did some simple exercises again and walked around the building twice. It was very hot and felt like walking in an oven. Half did it twice, some only once, some not even once. Baby steps.

Our discussion this week was a little more intense. We are getting to know each other a bit better and sharing some more. This week's lesson is to ask people we know to name three reasons why they like, or admire us. I really feel weird asking that question.

Once again she said they don't like to do lapband on diabetics since gastric bypass cures diabetes, not just controls it. They are starting to do it lapcroscopically. I'm still trying to be open. Not much else to report. As the classses go on  we will discuss the various surgeries they do. That I'm looking forward too. I don't really care about opening up to everyone. I think I know why I eat.I want to know how to stop!

second class lapband surgery 10/26/2010

Well I had my second class today. We started off with some simple exercises. Mostly just stretching. After 10 minutes of that we walked around the building twice, some did once. I had spent all day yesterday at Disneyland and I was sore, but did it fine. We then discussed ourselves. Why we hadn't had success in the past and why we think lapband or gastric would be successful for us. I think most of us were at the point that we have done everything else and this is our last option, our last chance. I think this may be a group that sheds tears. none yet, but I can feel them coming. I still think some of the group may be delusional in how they will be able to become healthy eaters before the surgery. I just feel I've done it all before. I know every diet in the book and I sure know how to eat healthy, I just don't. We talked about how food is an addiction like alcohol or drugs. I truly feel it is. I have 4 siblings, (2 deceased) and we are all overweight or alcoholic. I chose food to console and comfort me. I chose food to calm and soothe me. I know I need to combat that but just understanding why I do it doesn't really help. Our teacher has stressed this is not a weight loss class and we will not be talking about being "good" or "bad". Easy to say, but years of thinking like that will be hard to stop.

This next week I need to spend more time learning to say no to people without guilt and do what is best for me. By doing that I will minimize the stress in my life and lessen the chances I will eat to comfort myself or reward myself for working hard or doing for everyone else. I need to learn to put my needs first for a while. If I don't I won't be able to help anyone. My oldest says she agrees but she still makes me feel guilty if I don't come up to help her for the day. My youngest totally understands and encourages me to take care of myself. I think my oldest still feels I'm just weak and need to control myself. she would never say it out loud though. He actions speak louder than words.

My first week

I'm on the beginning of my 6 month or more, journey to live a healthier life. First a bit about me. I'm 60 years old and have type 2 diabetes. I've had it for 10 years and was pre-diabetic for 10 years before that. I'm married(40 years) have 2 children and 5 grandchildren. The main reason I'm doing this is because I want to enjoy my grandchildren and participate in activities with them for as long as possible. Right now I have arthritis and have trouble walking any distance. I am a size 18/20 and I'm 5'7". After I've lost about 40 pounds I'll let you know what I weigh. I'm in pretty good health right now and plan to keep it that way. I've been overweight since I was 11 years old. Of course I've done many many weight loss plans over the years, weight watchers, phen-fen, Optifast, you name it, I've probably done it. When I turned 50 and became an "official" diabetic, I stopped dieting. The diets worked but I didn't. I have never been able to keep the weight off for more than a few months. I feel lapband will be a good tool for me. We shall find out. Kaiser is paying for this and agree it is a good solution for me.

 I had my first of 24 classes last week. We are going to meet once a week for an hour and a half. There are 10 people in my class. Most of them are around my age, 60. There are 8 women and 2 guys. I was expecting to see really big people but they weren't much bigger than me. They seem like a nice group of people. Most have done Optifast, some have done it 3, 4, and one has done it 6 times! The first week consisted of filling out paperwork, introducing ourselves to each other, and getting a few basics of what to expect. Before any of us got to this stage we had to get approval from our doctor, do a bunch of blood work, attend a nutrition class for 3 months, and then get final approval from their gastric bypass doctor. What made me nervous was they can't or won't guarantee I will have lapband. They usually don't do lapband on diabetics as they have better luck with gastric bypass. That seems too severe for me.  Lapband is considered a procedure not surgery. It is also reversible. However their doctor said I may be a good candidate for lapband also. This will be decided later on. My classes are on Tuesday so I hope to update this blog every Tuesday night.